Issue #9

This issue features monkey muggings, a look into cage diving with apex predators and a fan that thought it was auditioning for a final destination movie.

I’ll also explain why you should never hand over your passport when travelling, and take a look at why one of the worlds most dangerous river creatures can’t even swim.

Enjoy!

Phuket has plenty of beaches, bars and places where people can chill, relax and enjoy the paradise vibe… but it also has Monkey Hill.

And yes the name is extremely fitting.

Monkey hill is a short couple of hours of adventure just outside Phuket Old Town. You can see the hill from miles away with a giant communications station perched on top. The reason many travellers head up the long and winding jungle road is to get to the stunning viewpoints at the top. Sounds like a nice peaceful walk right?

Well it would be, if it weren’t for the hundreds of monkeys lining the road like a wildly unpredictable welcome committee (and hundreds is not an over exaggeration I promise you).

You’ll start the climb and within minutes they’re everywhere, sitting on the road, climbing trees, wrestling each other, stealing drinks and genuinely behaving like a chaotic group of degenerates. If you’ve visited Thailand or South East Asia in general, you’ll be no stranger to the fact that monkeys are a common occurrence, but I promise you, you’ve never seen this many in one place, its actually a little intimidating.

You’ll also notice a lot of people climbing the hill with large sticks, not because they’re hiking enthusiasts, but clearly they’re a little worried or still dealing with some built up past monkey trauma. I suppose being mugged by a group of little monkeys might not go down too well with your mates.

The good news.. most of the monkeys will just ignore you if you don’t be a complete idiot. Follow the simple rule of not carrying any food or drink out in the open. If you have it, keep it zipped up or locked in a bag and they’ll leave you alone. I watched so many people on my way up get into a wrestling match with a monkey over a bottle of water instead of just letting go. Which if you didn’t already guess is a terrible idea.

Why? Well if you get bitten, congrats, you now get to spend the next part of your trip getting rabies shots in Thailand or popping in and out of hospitals for checks instead of just letting the stupid bottle go and buying another later.

But despite the petty theft, it’s still a brilliant little adventure. The climb in total only takes a couple of hours. It will be hot, so take water but just drink it in safe spots, enjoy the view and the experience as you’ll probably not see that many monkeys in one spot again.

Just remember…

If a monkey wants your drink, it’s no longer your drink.

Quick Details:

If you want to see exactly what im talking about with the amount of monkeys and to prove I’m not over exaggerating, check the video below (Tip skip to 5:58 to see the monkeys)👇

DON’T Give Out Your Passport!

If a hotel, hostel or bike rental place asks to keep your passport the answer should always be “No!”

Some places will ask to hold onto it during your stay or while you rent a scooter, please do not do this. A legitimate hotel only needs a photocopy of your passport, which takes a few seconds. Same with most rental places they just want your details incase you damage something and decide to disappear.

But the dodgy ones? They want leverage.

If someone holds your passport, they hold all the power. They can claim you damaged the bike, invent a cleaning fee or say you scratched something, when you know for a fact you didn’t. And guess what, you’ll probably end up paying it because you need your passport anyway.

So instead, for bike rental places offer cash deposits, and if they don’t accept then go somewhere else, because most will.

Carry photocopies of documents, and then if the hotel says they don’t have a photocopy machine you can give them a copy, no worries.

Its always better to risk losing a bit of money than losing the one document that actually lets you leave the country.

_{^{Cage Diving with Great Whites}}

What’s a great way to test out how well built a metal cage is? Dump it in shark infested South African water… with you inside.

Off the coast of Gansbaai, you can climb into a reinforced cage, drop into the water and come face to face with one of the oceans most intimidating predators.

The Great White Shark

The operators will attract them using bait, and before long you’re underwater watching a creature the size of a small car glide past the bars of your cage.

No glass, no aquarium, just you, some metal bars, and a shark that could comfortably remove half of your torso if it fancied a little nibble.

I’ve heard it’s one of the most surreal wildlife experiences you can have, and with your heart on the verge of exploding, I’m sure it would be.

Which is exactly, why its on my list.

Hippos Can’t Actually Swim

Hippos spend most of their life in water, which makes people assume they’re great swimmers.

Nope

Hippos are actually too dense to float properly, so instead of swimming they basically run along the riverbed, pushing themselves along with little leaps off the bottom.

Which means the 1500kg animal charging through the water towards you, is technically sprinting under the surface. A terrifying thought when hippos already kill more people in Africa than any other large animal.

Top tip, if you see a hippo don’t try to pet it… don’t say I didn't warn you

The Fan that nearly unalived someone.

Got a travel f*ck up or “why did I think that was a good idea?” moment? Reply to this email and the best ones might get featured in a future issue (anonymously if you'd prefer).

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Hit reply and share, I might even feature your story or advice in a future issue.

Until next time,

Chase the Adventure.

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